1.The last thing I want to do is hurt you. But it’s still on the list.
在這個(gè)世界上,我最不愿意做的事就是傷害你,但是這件事仍在我的考慮之列。我真不想傷害你,但你也別逼我。吾雖不殺伯仁,伯仁由我而死。
2.Politicians and diapers have one thing in common. They should both be changed regularly, and for the same reason.
政客和紙尿布有一個(gè)共同點(diǎn)就是:他們都很有規(guī)律地被替換,而且因?yàn)橥粋(gè)理由——臟了!!
3.War does not determine who is right – only who is left。
戰(zhàn)爭(zhēng)不能決出正義,但能判出哪方出局.
4.Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit; Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.
知識(shí)就是說你知道西紅柿是一種水果;智慧就好似不要把它放進(jìn)水果沙拉里。知識(shí)就是告訴你說應(yīng)該把雞蛋放進(jìn)籃子,智慧則是叫你不要把所有雞蛋都放進(jìn)一個(gè)籃子。
5.If God is watching us, the least we can do is be entertaining.
上帝瞅著咱們呢,大伙好歹喜感點(diǎn)吧!
6.I didn’t fight my way to the top of the food chain to be a vegetarian.
老子拼死拼活?yuàn)^斗到食物鏈頂端,不是為了成為一個(gè)素食者。
7.A bus station is where a bus stops. A train station is where a train stops. On my desk, I have a work station.....
公車站呀公車停;疖囌狙交疖囃。俺桌上有個(gè)工作站…
8.Better to remain silent and be thought a fool, than to speak and remove all doubt.
剽悍的人生不需要解釋。
9.A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.
無愧于心哈?記性不好吧?
10.Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the street with a bald head and a beer gut, and still think they are sexy.
如果女人能做到以禿頂和啤酒肚在大街上晃還覺得自己倍兒性感——此時(shí)估計(jì)男女能平等。
11.The shinbone is a device for finding furniture in a dark room.
小腿上的骨頭——在黑房間里找準(zhǔn)家具位置的好裝備。
12.To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism. To steal from many is research.
竊鉤者誅,竊國者為諸侯。
13.The sole purpose of a child’s middle name, is so he can tell when he’s really in trouble.
小孩子要中間名,純粹是為了讓他知道他啥時(shí)候真的有麻煩了。起個(gè)全名就為了揍孩子前可以底氣十足地喊出來。賈君鵬這名字就為了讓他媽喊他回家吃飯!
14.It’s not the fall that kills you; it’s the sudden stop at the end.
跳樓的時(shí)候,“啊——”的時(shí)候還沒死,“啪!”那才是死了。
15.Hospitality: making your guests feel like they’re at home, even if you wish they were.
好客就是:讓客人覺得他們像在他們家一樣,盡管你真的希望他們滾回他們家。
16.You’re never too old to learn something stupid.
越活越2,活到老,2到老。
17.Just remember…if the world didn’t suck, we’d all fall off.
記著吧……世界要不惡心,我們?cè)绫煌碌袅恕?提示:看出哪個(gè)詞是一語雙關(guān)了嗎?)
18.If you keep your feet firmly on the ground, you’ll have trouble putting on your pants.
直譯:如果你始終腳踏實(shí)地,那就別想穿褲子了。
意譯:人太老實(shí)沒法活。
19.Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine。
世界總是在變,但我卻怎么也便不出來。
人生何處不杯具,唯有面對(duì)飲水機(jī)。 |