比如,中國人在餐廳或咖啡廳,會說:“我想要一個漢堡包”或者“我想要一杯咖啡”。但是,如果直接把這些話翻譯成英語“I want to have a hamburger.”或“I want to have a coffee.”老外們會覺得這樣說話很沒有禮貌,當然他們也不會直接告訴你。而在西方國家,老外們一般會說:“Could I have a hamburger, please?”或“Can I have a coffee, please?”在這里j又要提到一個需要注意的問題,“打工的孩子最容易不注意的是see you.See u應該是客人說的,隱含了他覺得不錯他會再來的意思,而店員最好用低調(diào)一點的bye,用see u太強勢了。另外人家說謝謝,你也不用說you are welcome, 這實在是太正式了,有點真把自己當回事覺得幫了人家的味道;卮餭heers或no worries就好,如果僅僅是對方愛說謝,你甚至可以不回應他的謝,直接說你要說的就好,如果是買了他的東西他謝你,更不能說you r welcome了,最好也謝對方”
再比如,中國人在拒絕別人邀請的午宴或晚宴時,會說:“抱歉,我不能去,我還有別的安排!狈g成英文就是“Sorry,I can’t. I have another appointment.”如果這樣說,那別人第二次也許不會再邀請你了。老外們一般會這樣說:“That is a good idea! I would like to join in but I have another appointment today.”
我們可以從中總結(jié)一些“有禮貌”的技巧:
1、西方人(主要指有一定修養(yǎng)的歐美人)在與他人交流時,比較多地使用情態(tài)動詞:can、could、may、might、would等等;情態(tài)動詞(Model Verbs)又稱為情態(tài)助動詞(Model Auxil-iaries),表示說話人的語氣,可表達建議、要求、可能和意愿等,使得說話的語氣比較有禮貌。
2、比較多地使用虛擬語氣,比如would (had) rather、would (had) sooner、would (just) as soon等等,或者在陳述句中使用過去式表示虛擬語氣,或者使用if等引導的從句表示“可能性”。這樣說話可以使人感覺表達者是在考慮達到最佳的結(jié)果或方式,盡量避免不好的結(jié)果或方式,或者推測可能出現(xiàn)的問題,并找出可能解決的辦法。
3、往往在句尾加please,而不是在句首加please。當please用在句首的時候,語氣聽起來就比較強,聽起來像命令。比如請求別人做某事的時候,我們中國人會說“請在周一前給我回復。謝謝!钡侨绻阒苯佑糜⒄Z說“Please reply to me by Monday. Thank you.”聽者會覺得你是在命令他,一點禮貌也沒有。而如果這樣說:“Could you please reply to me by Monday? Thank you.”就顯得有禮貌了。
4、在陳述句的表達可能顯得生硬、沒禮貌時,盡量使用疑問句、否定句或從句,盡量避免自己的主觀判斷或武斷,以積極的、建議的、比較的、人性的語氣,代替消極的、命令的、直接的、武斷的語氣。
5、說話要以他人為中心,以肯定他人、贊同他人為前提,讓自己顯得謙卑、渺小。說完之后,還要附帶一句“Thank you”或“Thanks”。其實,這種禮貌的表達方式是來自古老的中國。這是東西方文化的共同點,也是為人處世的基本原則。了解英語中禮貌的表達方式,盡量讓自己的英語表達更有禮貌,融入社會。
說到這里,我們索性再八一八英國人那些弱爆了的思維吧。
當英國人夸你“很不錯”時,當英國人“順便說一句”時,當英國人說“基本同意”時,他們想表達的實際含義是什么呢?而你又是如何理解的呢?千萬不要誤會他們的意思,鬧出笑話!
When the British say "I hear what you say. " They mean "I disagree and do not want to discuss it further." But what others understand is "He accepts my point of view."
當英國人說“我聽到你所說的了”時,他們的意思是“我不同意也不想就其做進一步討論”,而其他人卻理解成了“他接受了我的觀點”。
When the British say "With the greatest respect... " They mean "I think you are an idiot." But what others understand is "He is listening to me."
當英國人說“出于最大的尊重…”時,他們的意思是“我覺得你太二了”,而其他人卻理解成了“他正聽我說話呢”。
When the British say "That's not bad. " They mean "That's good." But what others understand is "That's poor."
當英國人說“不算太糟”時,他們的意思是“太好了”,而其他人卻理解成了“太差了”。
When the British say "That is a very brave proposal. " They mean "You are insane." But what others understand is "He thinks I have courage."
當英國人說“那真是一個非常有勇氣的提議”時,他們的意思是“你真是瘋了”,而其他人卻理解成了“他覺得我很有膽識”。
When the British say "Quite good. " They mean "A bit disappointing." But what others understand is "Quite good."
當英國人說“很不錯哦”時,他們的意思是“有點小失望”,而其他人卻理解成了“真心不錯”。
When the British say "I would suggest... " They mean "Do it or be prepared to justify yourself." But what others understand is "Think about the idea, but do what you like."
當英國人說“我想建議的是……”時,他們的意思是“去實踐或者做好準備證明你自己”,而其他人卻理解成了“考慮一下他的點子,但還是做我想做的”。
When the British say "Oh, incidentally / by the way... " They mean "The primary purpose of our discussion is..." But what others understand is "That is not very important."
當英國人說“順便說一句……”時,他們的意思是“我們討論的最根本目的是……”,而其他人卻理解成了“接下來的話不是非常重要”。
When the British say "I was a bit disappointed that... " They mean "I am annoyed that..." But what others understand is "It doesn't really matter."
當英國人說“我對……有點小失望”時,他們的意思是“我對……很惱火”,而其他人卻理解成了“無傷大雅”。
When the British say "Very interesting. " They mean "That is clearly nonsense." But what others understand is "They are impressed."
當英國人說“非常有意思啊”時,他們的意思是“那明顯是瞎扯淡”,而其他人卻理解成了“那真是讓人印象深刻”。
When the British say "I'll bear it in mind. " They mean "I've forgotten it already." But what others understand is "They will probably do it."
當英國人說“我刻在腦子里了”時,他們的意思是“我已經(jīng)不記得了”,而其他人卻理解成了“他們大概會去做的吧”。
When the British say "I'm sure it's my fault. " They mean "It's your fault." But what others understand is "Why do they think it was their fault?"
當英國人說“我確定是我錯了”時,他們的意思是“那其實是你的錯”,而其他人卻理解成了“為什么他們會覺得是他們的錯呢?”
When the British say "You must come for dinner. " They mean "It's not an invitation, I'm just being polite." But what others understand is "I will get an invitation soon."
當英國人說“你一定要來赴宴”時,他們的意思是“那絕不是什么邀請,我只不過想禮貌一些”,而其他人卻理解成了“馬上我就會收到一個邀請了”。
When the British say "I almost agree. " They mean "I don't agree at all." But what others understand is "He's not far from agreement."
當英國人說“我基本同意”時,他們的意思是“我一點兒都不同意”,而其他人卻理解成了“他真的是非常非常同意啊”。
When the British say "I only have a few minor comments. " They mean "Please re-write completely." But what others understand is "He has found a few typos."
當英國人說“我只是有一點兒建議”時,他們的意思是“請從頭到尾地重寫一份吧”,而其他人卻理解成了“他只不過發(fā)現(xiàn)了一些言語錯誤”。
When the British say "Could we consider some other options?" They mean "I don't like your idea." But what others understand is "They have not yet decided."
當英國人說“我們可以再考慮一些其他的選擇嗎?”時,他們的意思是“我著實不喜歡你的點子”,而其他人卻理解成了“他們還沒有決定下來吧”。